I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
