I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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