Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
