My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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