i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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