Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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