Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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