Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
