Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand Curling. That high.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Someone signed my nipple.
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