She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
