You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
