You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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