I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
