I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
