idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
