i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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