Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
