Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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