My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
dude. I can hear the air.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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