epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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