no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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