i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My ass is underappreciated
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
