Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
