yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
