so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
