Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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