Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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