I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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