i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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