life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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