I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
