thus making me awesome and them whores
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
