Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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