He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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