just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
