BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
