I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
