love makes seman taste better
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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