I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
