She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
