the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
