I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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