Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
