brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
