I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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