I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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