I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize