the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
