I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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