hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He shit in the fireplace
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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