well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
