im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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