That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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