Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
