Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
