I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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