Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize
