There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
