This girl is more easily done than said...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
